Yesterday as I was driving and letting my thoughts meander as they do when I drive, it occurred to me that if we humans were just fancy, extra-smart animals in the big animal food chain, we wouldn't all be so desperately searching for meaning. I get tired of this constant thinking about the "meaning" of it all. "It all" being our societal structures, personal struggles, desires, global conflicts, historical accounts, art, faith, religion...gah! Enough already.
It sounds nice to be more thoughtless, to live on a more primal level, reacting to new stimuli as it comes along, adapting...or not. In fact, I've been leaning more toward this way of living in a couple ways. I like to paint. Instead of over thinking it and strategizing and having solid reasons for why I want to invest my time slapping colors on canvas, I just accept it for what it is. It's meaningful because it's a desire. Because it's a desire, I'm going to do it. Because I can. I see beauty in this simplicity and I've embraced it.
I also got a tattoo because I wanted to. Yes, I have come up with a trifecta meaning for it to the point of understanding where Prince was coming from when he tried to drop his name and go by a symbol instead--remember that? This little tattoo has so much meaning because I just can't help myself. I've somehow managed to explain the whole of myself and spirituality in one little symbol. If I made a little video explaining the meaning, it would fit perfectly into a Christopher Guest movie. Like, just cut and paste it right in. (I need another Christopher Guest movie, by the way. Remember, "Waiting for Guffman", "Best In Show"?) But ultimately I got the tattoo because I wanted it and it felt good to do something just for that reason. I think we can become caricatures of ourselves when we over explain things. Just live. Do the things you want to do.